Growing up I always knew that I wanted to serve a mission. There was never any doubt. I feel like I was a spiritual kid in my early years. I remember reading the Book of Mormon before I was eight. As the time grew closer I really began to analyze myself and make sure I was ready to serve. One night it hit me hard as I was reading Alma 36 where Alma comes to a realization of the things that he had done wrong while having a vision. Verses 12-19 read:
12 But I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins.
13 Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments.
14 Yea, and I had murdered many of his children, or rather led them away unto destruction; yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror.
15 Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds.
16 And now, for three days and for three nights was I racked, even with the pains of a damned soul.
17 And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.
18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.
19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.
I had a strong desire to repent of all my sins and let everyone else know that we could be forgiven for our errors and one day return to live with our Heavenly Father. I repented and completed all of my pre mission preparations.
Here is my journal entry from October 27th 2002:
Here is my journal entry from October 27th 2002:
"Guess what happened yesterday. I got my mission call. I decided to wait til 6 pm today to open it cuz I wanted to do it on a Sunday. It was so awesome. There were about 30 people who I invited in the lounge. Some of em I didn't even know. I did it on a conference call with my family and about 15 other people. Here's what it read.
I am so excited. I ended up crying while reading it and i couldn't finish the whole thing. It was kind of embarassing but I ended up getting lots of hugs from the girls so thats ok. My Dad also spoke Portuguese so he can help me memorize the discussions before I get there.
Below are the pictures of myself I sent to the mission office:
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